23 June 2013

Defeated...

In case you missed my last post, I have a ridiculous fall schedule of races.  In preparation for those events, I've started a training plan through RunKeeper (my FAVORITE running app) to achieve a sub-2:00 half marathon.  It's on pace to bring me there for Disneyland Half over the Dumbo Challenge weekend but I'm okay with not actually hitting that goal until Wine & Dine or even Space Coast. But it is kicking my a$$ with 5 runs a week, of varying distances and paces.

If you remember from my Running Crazy post, you'll also remember I am training for a 300 mile bike ride from NYC to DC - The Climate Ride. So some of the training miles for my sub-2 plan have been on the bike - mainly my long distances. I feel confident I can do 13.1 without running more than 8-10 miles beforehand, which are some of the mid-week distances so I don't feel like I'm compromising my plan or sacrificing runs swapping them out for bike miles. This is another reason I'm okay not hitting that time goal at Dumbo - since the ride is only 3 weeks later. 

Well, I noticed this morning as I was contemplating my workout for the day (because I also have to meet my GymPact each week) that I did 6 and change yesterday and had 13 on the schedule for today. I thought it would be a perfect preview for Dumbo. And might I say I think I killed those miles yesterday without too much of a sweat, figuratively speaking of course.  But then again, when I ran yesterday, it was overcast and drizzly, which helped keep me cool.  

I did not pop out of bed and dive into my run - partly because I haven't gotten any decent sleep this week and partly because I had no reason to get up early. When I checked the weather last night it was supposed to be pretty crappy today, so I was actually planning on hitting up the gym.  I got up and had a leisurely breakfast, caught on up some blog reading, and started hydrating. Around 2 I went out to grab some supplies from my gym bag in the car and noticed it was much warmer than I thought it was going to be. The sun had come out, contrary to weather reports, and warmed things up quite a bit.  But I thought I could manage my 13 with a few good tools: my first taste of energyBITS, nuun in my water bottle, margarita Clif blocks, sunscreen, and anti-chafing cream.  I also had on my 110% compression pants - which I usually wear for any run over 10 miles to help with cramping. It also makes it super easy to ice down after the run.
Not Impressed with today's run

So I waited a bit, hoping it would cool off some more and finally headed out about 10 minutes before 4 to tackle my 13 miles. I paced myself on speed and hydrating - not wanting to push myself too hard even though the recommended pace for the day was 9:30-10 min miles. The first few miles were ok. I was definitely doing positive splits, but was running most of the way.  I finally got out to the island, the only place with a water fountain on my whole run, and filled up, also splashing cold water on my face and wetting down my hat again (oh yeah, I had also done this before I left home too to try to help manage my temp). I walked away from the water fountain and did one lap around Belle Isle and knowing I needed to do another lap to try to make my distance, started on the second lap, but ended up walking the whole lap. The heat was really starting to get to me.  I was sweating - a lot - but didn't feel like I was salty sweating. And I noticed my hands were swollen.  I tried drinking more water and laying off the Clif blocks, even putting my hands over my head.  But nothing was helping.  At this point I was still determined to knock out all 13 miles - with about 5 more to go. 

Here's the other problem I was experiencing, besides the heat and humidity. Richmond, in my opinion, is a horrible place to try to do distance runs. I had the same problem last year when I moved here in the middle of marathon training. The farthest I ran here in my training for that was 17 miles - essentially wandering aimlessly through town trying to come up with the distance.  I even looked back at my old runs (thanks RunKeeper for the awesome log) to try to figure out where I should go today to hit my miles. Since its been raining a lot the last few days, some of my usual spots were not an option because they'd be all muddy. I hit the 8 mile mark and kept thinking - how am I going to get in 5 more miles from here? I kept going, thinking maybe I'd run on the road some, or up into the Church Hill neighborhood (loathing the idea of a hill workout at the end of 10 miles). But then I hit mile 9 and it hit me - I was out of water, I was hot, and I was done. I was not right by my house, so I ended up with 10.5 miles in the books for the day, but I basically walked home after I decided I was done. 

Here's why I feel defeated - I feel like I gave up. I had the physical strength to keep going - my muscles weren't tired. I had the mental strength right up until I talked myself into quitting. I let the voices in my head get the best of me today and talk me out of my last 2.5 miles. Ugh - saying that now I really feel defeated. I have amazing friends who tried to tell me I accomplished something big today, but internally I feel like I lost a battle today. And I also learned something I'm not sure how to fix between now and race day - if it's like this for Dumbo weekend, I'm not sure how I'm going to finish. Sure my overall pace would have kept me well in front of the sweepers, and even if I walked those last couple of miles on race day, I should be starting in an early enough corral that I can beat them to the finish. But that's not how I want to earn my medal. I want to run (or conga) across that finish line with a smile on my face - BOTH days. I want to feel amazing when I get that Dumbo Challenge medal AND my Coast to Coast after the half. I want to feel victorious - not defeated - on that day. 

The good news is I have another chance at this in my training plan before Dumbo. I'm going to seriously pay attention to my hydration EVERY day and start planning out a healthier eating plan (right after I finish my Cheezits). I will conquer that event - and every event on my fall calendar of craziness. Because with each run I learn something - about myself and about running. Today I learned I can be defeated and I learned I don't like to lose. 

07 June 2013

Running Crazy

I should have known I would still be a horrible blogger.  I don't know how you all do it - regularly updating your blog.  The main thing for me these days is finding time to get it all done - writing for both this blog and my "professional" blog in the midst of trying to get work done AND get in all my running.  I applaud all of you that do this so diligently.  You are my inspiration and my motivation sometimes.

Today I'm writing my accountability post.  I am hoping to get some readers, even if it's just my pals from #CorralG to get started with, who can keep me accountable to my goals for the remainder of the year.  So, here goes.

RUNNING:
I ended up setting a pretty ambitious fall race schedule.  I didn't set out to be this ambitious, it just sort of ended up this way because of my love and excitement for some of these events and who I would see there.  

My fall race calendar is:

Awesome BLING!
August 31: Disneyland 10K
September 1: Disneyland Half Marathon/Dumbo Double Dare Challenge/Coast-to-Coast
** Running this weekend as a Team for Life member.  If you are interested and able to support this great fundraising cause for cancer, please click here.

[September 21-25: Climate Ride - discussed a little later]

One of my AMAZING run friends

October 13: Chicago Marathon
October 27: Marine Corp Marathon

November 9: Mickey's Jingle Jungle 5K/Wine & Dine Half Marathon
December 1: Space Coast Half Marathon

This puts me just shy of qualifying for half fanatic status, and I could even qualify for marathon maniac if I found another marathon to put on the calendar before January 11.  I'm feeling a little crazy with this schedule, but I know I can do it.  The question is how to do it smartly. I need to train and I need to make sure to get the right amount of rest too!  I started a training plan with RunKeeper to do a sub-2:00 half in time for Disneyland.  It's also got me doing some back to back runs on the weekend, which will help prepare for the Dumbo Challenge.  

My new bike!
The kink in this plan, if there is one, is in the midst of the running training, I'm also training for the Climate Ride.  What is this you ask?  Here's the blurb from the website:

Climate Ride NYC-DC is a grand cycling adventure that connects two of the nation’s most important cities – New York and Washington, DC – by bicycle. From the exciting departure by ferry in Manhattan to the hero’s welcome and rally at the steps of the US Capitol, the east-coast version of Climate Ride is more than a bike trip – it’s an inspiring journey with 150 like-minded people who are united by their passion for sustainability, renewable energy, and bicycles - the ultimate carbon-free form of transportation.
After a great ride

We will be riding somewhere in the neighborhood of 60 miles EACH DAY for 5 days!  So I need to be training for that bike ride as well :)  I'm mixing up my long distances on the weekend between runs and rides.  I've also got my bike set up on a trainer in the apartment for yucktacular days (like today when Andrea is moving through town).  I have some friends giving me advice about training and how to prep for these days!





NUTRITION:
MMM... Pizza!
I know that in order to make it through all this training and racing, I'm going to need to properly fuel my body.  I've been doing Weight Watchers for the last couple of years, and have been able to lose about 35 lbs and become smarter about what I eat and how much.  I'd still like to lose another 10 lbs, but also know I need to be safe in how I eat to train.  This means making smarter food choices throughout the day.  I've got great support from friends who are doing a fantastic job with their healthy eating habits - but I have a weakness when it comes to grocery shopping.  Cheez-its and Peanut Butter Cheerios call out to me!  But I successfully made it out of the store last night without either.  I need to put together a comprehensive plan for eating, that also allows me to splurge every once in awhile - like Friday night pizza and wine ;)



 WORK:
In the midst of this awesomeness, I still have to work!  Gotta fuel the desire right?  So I will say that I have some work goals, which include building relationships with more congregations across Virginia and GETTING ORDAINED!  This is something I have been working on for a long time - over 10 years!  I was hopeful that it was going to happen on June 30, but that didn't work out.  I'm still hoping for a date before the fall craziness happens - and I'll keep you posted on that.  After all, that's what this whole blog was originally created around!  I've got some other work goals, but I'm keeping those close to the vest for now.  


Thanks for hanging in there and reading all the way through this craziness!  I hope you'll check in with me and keep me accountable for all these goals.

















21 April 2013

Earth Day Sunday Sermon at Boulevard UMC

I'll go back and add my sermons from other events this year, but here is the manuscript of the sermon I preached this morning at Boulevard United Methodist Church in Richmond on the occasion of Earth Sunday.  I went a little "off book" so this isn't exactly what I delivered, but you get the jist.


A few months ago Rachel asked me if I would preach for Earth Sunday, either this week or next week. I was very excited about the possibility of worshipping with you and told her, even then, that today would be the best day for me, as I was already committed for next week.  Things got busy for me, and I remembered but didn’t really think about it until mid-March.  We both checked in with each other at the beginning of the month to confirm the details, and I had been thinking for a bit about needing to work on my sermon.  I again mentioned that today was the day I had reserved on my calendar for Boulevard, but as she freely admitted, some of that at least just went right past her, and she thought I was coming next week right up until our time on the porch on Thursday!  It’s ok - I forgive her.  Because I still didn’t even have my sermon written at that point.  And I’ll make my own confession now - I didn’t write this until last night.  

There are many reasons for this, but I do think divine providence plays into everything, even what seems like my own procrastination.  Earlier in the month when Rachel mentioned her plans for a sermon series, she said the focus for this week would be on the early disciples experiencing tragedy.  At the time I glanced over the scriptures, and began to form a picture in my head about what that would look like - weaving in the tragedy of the early disciples’ lives and the ministry of earth care I focus on.  I saw common threads and knew I could develop a picture from the scriptures that led to a conversation and understanding of earth care.  And then Monday happened.  And we experienced our own tragedy that I feel must be mentioned as well.

I am a runner.  I find that when I run, I am able to put all distractions aside, all worries and concerns are left at home, as I take to the road to knock out some miles.  I also feel like it is a time for me to connect with God - to simply be present in the moment and to sort out my thoughts.  I wasn’t always a runner, but I have developed a love not only for running, but for this amazing community of runners from across the country that I am now a part of.  I was blessed to run my first marathon in January this year with 9 of my new best running friends!  We didn’t know each other well before the start, but after 26.2 miles together, we had become family.  We struggled through miles, encouraged one another, fought the weather, and we crossed that finish line!  Now I will always be able to say, “I’m a marathoner” because of it.  Some of us aspired to BQ - run a qualifying time for Boston - before this year.  I had a taste of this last year when a colleague came in with her Boston shirt on.  I began thinking, “I could do that.”  But wasn’t really serious.  But the buzz among my friends over the last few weeks, leading up to Monday, was intoxicating.  One from our group lives in Boston and had gone to a special preview event last weekend at Marathon Sports there on Boylston to get his brand new Boston-themed shoes.  So Monday morning, once I got to the office, I stealthily tuned into the live feed on my computer, and listened and watched as elite runners from around the world competed to finish the last 10 miles of the marathon.  I watched the women’s race change dramatically in the last two miles, and three men battle it out through the last 800 meters.  The excitement was palpable.  But I had work to do, so I turned off the feed and went about my day.  Around 3, all of that changed.  The excitement so many of us felt early in the morning had turned to fear by then.  My running partner called me to check in, thinking I was actually in Boston based on comments I had made on Facebook earlier in the day.  My brother sent me a text making sure I was ok.  And I began to frantically search for information about my friends, and what exactly was happening.  Luckily everyone I knew was safe, those that had been spectating hours earlier, and those that had finished recently.  But that wasn’t true for others.  Three tragically lost their lives Monday, and 175 others were wounded, some more seriously than others.  I broke down - and I had a hard time all week focusing on what seemed petty in light of the tragedy.  We were struck with tragedy again on Thursday when the plant in West, Texas exploded, and again yesterday with an earthquake in China.  It has been quite a week - and one I knew we could not ignore.  So I was thankful I had not written a sermon yet, so I could properly reflect on the events of this week and try somehow to make connections between this week of tragedy and the stories of the disciples and the need to care for the earth.  

Tragedy, however, tends to make us stronger and brings us closer together.  It was something I saw this over and over again this week in the running community.  My hometown running store in Atlanta hosted a mile of silence run on Tuesday morning - what started as a small event grew into a gathering of almost 300 people at all 7 locations to stand in solidarity with Boston.  Things like this happened all week, evidence of the strength of the human spirit in the shadow of evil.  We know there is darkness in the world - but the great news of Easter morning is that light wins and darkness is defeated.  I am grateful that we have seen the darkness of this week defeated, with celebrations in the street on Friday night in Boston.  

The disciples also knew the battle of darkness and light.  Their ultimate experience of tragedy was on Good Friday, when their leader was brutally crucified.  At the death of Jesus, the disciples were scattered - Peter even denying his part in the community.  But on Easter morning, as the women went to the tomb and learned of the good news of Jesus‘ resurrection, the community was able to begin to come together again, and to flourish in the light.  

Our story this morning comes from Acts, after the resurrection, and tells of the work of Peter, the foundation for the early church.  A group of new disciples in Joppa had just lost one of their saints, and were grieving over her death.  Knowing that Peter was in a neighboring town, they called him to come.  Peter was able to perform a miracle that day, raising Tabitha from the dead and illuminating the darkness surrounding her loss.  Because of this, “many people believed in the Lord.”  The message of the gospel was spreading throughout the region, and the darkness was fading as the light spread.  Though tragedy had befallen the disciples, they were able to lean on their faith to bring light to the darkness and to overcome their fear.  They came together as a community and were stronger after experiencing the tragedy.  

Tragedy, unfortunately, is part of our world.  In the work I do, tragedy may be too strong of a word, but there are days that the work I do is hard.  When black, thick oil sands tar creeps into the backyards of people in Arkansas, when homes are washed away in Far Rockaway, when mudslides and drought besiege our neighbors across the globe, I see tragedy.  When we experience code red air quality days, and the river running in our backyard warns us of fishing for risk of mercury contamination, I see tragedy.  When we consider a future for our children, where geography and landscape is vastly different from what we know today, I see tragedy.  There are times when this work - this calling to care for Creation - can seem daunting.  When thinking of the harm we have caused and the lack of compassion we have shown for humanity as well as nature, brings me to tears.  But I cannot wallow in that darkness, just as we cannot wallow in the darkness and fear of terror experienced in Boston.  

The greatest gift of being a Christian is hope.  On that first Easter morning, God restored our hope.  God’s light broke into the great darkness and showed us the reason for hope.  Christ came into this world to redeem the world.  The redemption Christ won for us on Easter is not just for humanity, but for all of Creation.  And as children of God, we all called to be a part of that redemption.  We are called to care for the widow, the orphan, and the poor.  And we are called to do that in a way that honors the gift of Creation that God has given to us.  For in caring for Creation, in creating a healthy and sustainable future, we are caring for the least of these.  

Earth Day isn’t just a one-day thing - a time for us to say, “hey, earth, thanks for being awesome and providing us with life-sustaining water, and food to eat.”  We need to have an Earth Day mentality 365 days a year.  As a friend of mine put it the other day, “In our hearts for 365 days, but in the spotlight for one.”  My job is to bring care for Creation into the spotlight every day of the year.  To help people of faith realize that the call to tend the garden is a moral imperative to be loving caretakers of all of Creation.  If we are truly made in the image of God, as the Genesis story tells us, we should see the world that God made the way God saw it, as good.  And not good to take advantage of, but good in and of itself.  We are called to be stewards of Creation.  And on this earth Sunday, where we consider the tragedies in life, we also consider the hope of light into darkness and our call to bring the light into dark places.  

When it comes to earth care, our light in the darkness is a way of understanding our interactions with the environment.  Many people talk of carbon footprints and the need to tread lightly on the earth.  This may be a hard pill for some to swallow, so maybe an easier way to think about it is to consider how we can live in harmony with those around us - both people and nature.  We all recall the commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves - to treat others the way we would like to be treated.  To leave a world to enjoy and encounter the risen Lord. Additionally, there are simple things we can do in our own homes, like turn off the faucet when brushing our teeth, or getting -and setting - a programmable thermostat.  We can change our lightbulbs to CFLs and consider buying products with less packaging.  We can step it up, and buy a hybrid or all-electric vehicle, or even commit to a car-free lifestyle.  We can go all in and put solar panels on our roofs or a geothermal system in our gardens.  

We can consider making changes in our church too - recognizing that Boulevard spent $12,000 on fuel oil this past cold season and over $400 last month alone on the gas bill for the parish house, because efficiency in the system has been neglected. We can look at ways to seal up the parish house, adding storm windows and better insulation to reduce our energy needs.  Or we can make sure when scheduling time in the building that we aren’t spread out throughout the building or throughout the week, so we can use our energy resources more efficiently.  We can even change lightbulbs in the church!

We can also advocate to our local, state, and federal legislators for policies that help move us toward a more sustainable future.  No act is too small - everything we do adds up.  We can start small and build in our homes .  Or we can start in our church and move out into the community.  We can encourage bottom-up or top-down approaches to move us forward.  But the important thing about earth care is that we need to move forward.  Or more so, move away from the way things are now.  The saying is true: if you always do, what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got.  What we’ve gotten is hotter summers and more dramatic winters.  We’ve gotten tropical storms in New York and dust storms in Virginia.  We’ve gotten a world that is not the one that was given to us.  And we’ve got to consider if it is the world we wish to leave for our children.  

It’s hard to end on such a sobering, dark note.  Where is the light in this darkness?  I believe our reading from Revelation helps lead us to that light.  “These are they who have come out of the great tribulation…” Indeed we have come through great tribulation, whether the disciples, the people of Boston, or the people of earth fighting to be better stewards.  And at the end of this tribulation, “God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”  Later we are told “there will be no more death, or mourning or crying or pain.”  The story given to us in Revelation is a story of redemption for the children of God and for the Creation of God.  We will all gather - from east and west, from north and south, to worship our God at the Holy Mountain, on a renewed and revitalized earth.  We will be one in community, having come through tragedy, learning and growing and becoming stronger with each experience.  

Tragedy is a part of life - the disciples knew it, and we know it today in many forms. Our hope lies in the joy of that first Easter morning - that Christ is risen, come to redeem all of Creation and to make us partners in that redemption.  May it be so this earth day and every day.